Update Your Blog-a-rolls!

The Baconatrix is closing up shop.

To be fair, shop had never really opened up.

I want to get away from the stigma of this particular blog. The fact that it’s been nearly three months without an update indicates that we’re off to a bad start. I want to start over.

I’ll be closing down shop within the next few weeks. In the meantime, my new blog, The Goozle, is already up and running! On this one we’ll be talking exclusively about wrestling. Hopefully the increased focus will lead to a better work output.

All wrestling-related posts will, of course, be transferred to the new blog in short order.

See you guys there!



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Filed under Blog News

Santo vs. El Blog: Why Kong is Important… and Why She Didn’t Have to Be

Santo vs. El Blog logoProfessional wrestling has a problem: it’s not 1955 anymore. And I think now, more than ever, the ball is in the WWE’s court to turn things around.

Since Gorgeous George, wrestling has had its roots in essentialist ideas and characters, and it’s hard to dispute that the WWF/WWE has been at the forefront of this trend. From Russian bogeyman Nikolai Volkoff to cruel street gang leader Faarooq to good ol’ dog-rasslin’ country boy Hillbilly Jim to whatever the damn Mordecai was supposed to be (evil pasty preacher things are totally a traditional caricature, mang), the McMahon umbrella has been driven by stereotypical villains and prototypical grotesques. In some ways, the product has begun to even out. Just look at the Corre–a heel stable of four men from different countries, none of whom is a sneering, sadistic stereotype. You don’t think these guys would’ve been singing their respective national anthems in 1985? Or 1994?

Well, except Heath Slater. But Heath Slater’s always the exception.

So there’s been progress. For men. It also helps to be white, of course, but the discussion about grinning black babyfaces and stern-faced black villains will have to wait, because for every step forward WWE has made with its men, it’s been five steps backward for its women.

Excuse me. Its Divas. Continue reading


Filed under Santo vs. El Blog

Solid Editing & Proofreading: Why My Students (Probably) Don’t Get Away with Plagiarism

An Absolutely Original Textcast

"But I actually wrote this! Last night!"

Let’s talk.

Come on up to my desk; don’t be shy.

I want to talk about your paper.

No, really, it was great. I loved it the second time I read it, too.

On Wikipedia?

Oh, don’t act all surprised. Did you think I was stupid?

Then let’s start over.

I don’t buy into the idea that we’re living in a new age of sloth and degradation. I don’t believe that just because the crimes get more attention, that means there are more crimes. I also don’t believe that the students who break Unwritten Rule #1 of Every Class Ever–that is, “do your own damn work”–are malicious, conniving creatures hell-bent on circumventing the rules. Most of the time, they didn’t understand the requirements. Or they thought they didn’t. Or they did, but they didn’t give themselves enough time to fulfill them.

I do, however, believe that we live in a unique age in at least one way: it is easier than ever to find work to plagiarize, and there are more clever ways than ever to get away with it.

Continue reading


Filed under Solid Editing and Proofreading, Teaching

Enter the Baconatrix!

Greetings, infidels! Behold! I have mastered the 666 arts of web design to bring you a “web blog”–or, as I have dubbed it, a “wlog!” Lean back in your office chairs, grab yourselves a Mountain Dew, and set your faces to “bask.”

Okay, actually? Get the Mountain Dew first.

Who the Dang are You?

Look at this dude!

I am The Architect. 'sup.

I am Bill Baconhill–an entirely non-creative pseudonym that I came up with late one night about two years ago. If you’ve come to this blog, there is a greater than 50% chance–at least as of this first post–that you know my real name anyway, but I’ll be cold in the ground before I dispense with the aliases at Post One. It was my name on my The Twitteh, it became my alias for Online Gamings, and eventually (i.e., now), it became my blog name and I saddled it with a lot of references to a mediocre decade-old sci-fi trilogy. It is my hope that I hit you over the head with much less heavy-handed Christian symbology, but I’m not making any promises, and I’m not convinced that I’ll be able to help it.

I’m a lot of things–father, husband, writer, teacher, linguistic hobbyist, nerd of sundry passions, old-timey video game fan, and big fat dude. I live in a little farm town in Ohio. Not much happens there. A long time ago, we were supposed to get a Greyhound bus hub, but nothing came of it. We still named our school mascot the “Greyhound,” though. We’re na├»ve that way.

Why the Sudden Interest in Blogging?

I’ve always told my students that we’ve got a story to tell. There was a time when I used to pride myself in telling my story, but I feel like I’ve gotten away from that. Needless to say, these are crazy times. Things are blowing up, falling into the ocean, and exploding into riots full of disgruntled firefighters and freelance haberdashers. I don’t come with insights, but I do come with stories. I think those are more effective anyway–and they’re always more interesting to read.

So without pretenses, this will be a log. On the web. It’ll cover a variety of my interests, but as it goes on, there’s a good chance something will catch my eye and I’ll run with it, at which point I’ll probably dispense with that goofy MSPaint drawing from the last section.

Variety of Interests, Eh?

Yes, hang on, I’m getting there.

At this point, I conceive The Baconatrix to cover three specific topics and one general one. I will sort these topics into various gories of a cate persuasion, thus proving myself a wholly original contributor to Da Web.

Solid Editing and Proofreading will cover words–writing them, reading them, and teaching them. I do a lot of all three. I write my own fiction on the side, specializing in adventure stories, magical realism, comedy, fantasy, soft sci-fi, and cephalopodic bromance. I also teach freshman composition and developmental writing at various local schools, and you KNOW lots of fun happens there. As is my policy, names are always changed to protect the extremely guilty of plagiarism.

The Nerdaean Hydra will cover a few general geek fixations, from video games to tabletop roleplaying games. I’m more of a dabbler now than I once was (having two kids will do that to you), but I still know how to dig my Apparatus of Kwalish out of my Bag of Holding, if you know what I mean (NOTE: If you don’t know what I mean, that’s actually not as disgusting as you think it is.).

'sup, nena.

El Santo. Not pictured: nude vampire temptresses.

Santo vs. El Blog is where I’ll likely lose you if “blogging about teaching and D&D” didn’t, as it covers one of my weirder interests: professional wrestling. The squared circle. The greatest ridiculous show on Earth. I’m not going to focus on news, recaps, and rumors (which you can get elsewhere with more gusto from people less likely to miss a show than me); rather, I’ll cover some news items and offer my own perspectives on rasslin’s place in culture at large. I hope it’s a bit smarter than what you’d expect.

Finally, Leftover Grease covers everything else. Check the other tags and categories for more insight here.

If you have any questions, see me after class. Okay?

Let’s Get Crack-a-Lackin’?

Do let’s.


Filed under Blog News, Introduction, Leftover Grease, Santo vs. El Blog, Solid Editing and Proofreading, The Nerdaean Hydra